In response to an article I did on dealing with being jealous of your best friend’s success, someone asked a very valid question. So what do you do when this time your best friend is jealous of your success?
You notice that anytime you share good news about your progress, this particular friend always downplays your success or makes a snide remark about you just being very lucky irrespective of how hard you know you worked to get there.
Let’s look at how we can deal with such if you are on the other side of the divide.
Examine Your Actions
Ask yourself if your actions are further aggravating your friend’s jealousy. It may not be what you say but how you say it. Sometimes it might be an unconscious act of making your friend jealous. If it is, acknowledge it and take responsibility for your actions.
Confront your friend
It may seem awkward opening a conversation with your friend starting with “Hey, I know you are jealous of me” But It is a necessary thing to do so there are no assumptions from both parties. Since you have examined yourself first, then you can initiate a talk with your friend about how such remarks make you feel.
This will also be a good way to find out if they have some issues that they haven’t shared with you and ask how you could be of help. However, remember to be honest without being hurtful.
Love from A Distance
I have learnt that relationships come in different stages and could progress as things turn out. Acquaintance– (Hi & Bye are your exchange of words, you probably catch the same bus to work and you know a thing or two about that person), Friend– (You consciously seek out friendship with this person and share a few common interests), Close friend– (This friend knows a lot about you and what makes you tick), Intimate friend (A good example could be a marriage or deep friendship where you share your dreams, fears and joys and pains).
In this case, the stage of relationship could regress as well. So if you had a close friend that is clearly jealous, then that friendship could change to friend or even acquaintance. Depending of the level of distance you want to keep. You definitely do not want to share details about your success with such a person as much as you used to.
Because there are multiple stages of friendships and you decide you draw new boundaries, doesn’t mean that you won’t be friends anymore, it only means that the level of your friendship will be different.
Take A Walk
After all has been said and done, some relationships are time bound and once that season of your life is over, it may be a signal to move on and establish new friendships.
Be good to yourself. At the same time do not hesitate to pray for them and wish them well to attain their own success so you can all meet at the top.
How do you deal with your friend being jealous of you?
