Every working lady one day has to give feedback to someone, whether it be to an employee, employer, friend , family member or even the next door neighbour, you name it!
Giving feedback is a very important thing for everyone’s development; it is sometimes tough to take, even harder to follow and often unwelcome. Occasionally people will ignore your feedback; my personal favourite from an old manager was that I shouldn’t smile so much…I didn’t follow that advice! So, having been on the receiving end of feedback that wasn’t delivered well, we should all learn how to give feedback succinctly, respectfully and most importantly, kindly.
DO IT QUICKLY
Don’t wait until a week has passed from the event you want to give feedback on, the person receiving it will have probably forgotten what happened and will be nonplussed when you bring it up; the phrase nip-it-in-the-bud has relevance here. However, that being said sometimes people do need time to cool down before they can be open to feedback. Just try and make the best decision with the timing.
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Obvious, right? But most often feedback springs from a moment you disagreed with someone and your response comes out quite harsh. Taking a moment to think about what you want to say will reduce any negativity and also make you word it diplomatically.
DO IT IN PRIVATE
As humans we mainly appreciate when our attributes are pointed out to crowds, so that we feel good about ourselves; however correcting people in public could cause a serious problem. You’ll likely be receiving ‘feedback’ yourself! Make sure it is private so that you have an open and confidant space.
START WITH THE POSITIVES
There have been many times the feedback ‘sandwich’ has been used on me, I know what my boss is doing but it works. I leave feeling like I am doing well and knowing where I can improve. Start with a positive, go to the negative and give suggestions on how to improve and then finish with a positive; a trusted tool for feedback. This also applies when talking to friends and need to give them feedback on their wardrobe.Tell them how great they’ve been looking of recent then maybe drop in the feedback – ” but these shoes aren’t quite it, maybe wear something else?”
AVOID USING THE ‘YOU’ WORD
How you talk (as well as an open body language) is vital in giving feedback. Make sure you start sentences using “I was” rather than “you were”, starting with them gives negative connotations and immediately makes a recipient defensive.
Have you picked up any good tips for giving feedback? Let me know them.